Great day to you…believe you’re doing great. Have you noticed that there are words people find very hard to say, especially in public? Today, I want us to look at one of such words: SEX.
It is so unfortunate that most parents grew up in homes where discussing sex is considered sinful! For others, sex was a no-go area—they grew up looking at sex as a “bad thing”, so when they hear “sex”…kai…hahaha…
Times have changed, my friend. We have to wake up and educate our kids about sex. Our kids want to practise what the see. The media sells sex to them, everywhere—right in your house, on bill-boards, magazines, and so on.
If you don’t step in and educate them properly, the society, their friends, and the media will sell to them a distorted view about sex and their sexuality.
#1: Your kids need to understand that being a man or a woman isn’t based on their sexual powers. And, neither should anybody be treated like an object for self-fulfillment. The media sells lies—all they portray about sex is “a-must-experience”. Most movies our children watch are “sexualized” and the lady being portrayed as an object of cooling off the sexual urge. These (and more) must be corrected.
#2: Model a decent sex-life with your partner. Your kids should see you treating your partner with respect, love, and humility, respecting your partner’s body! How you treat your partner becomes a bench-mark (or template) that your children will use. Be abusive, and your kids will think it’s “cool” and okay to be abusive. So it is with the sex-life.
#3: Reassure them you understand the pressures of “trying to test” and that you know how it feels—the peer pressure of trying not to be called a “weakling” (of not “belonging” or “feeling among”), the pressure of hormonal changes, and so on. Let them know it is normal to feel that way.
Your children are under pressure, most importantly, sexual pressure. They just want someone who cares and understands with what they are going through. They want you to be there and be understanding. Make yourself available, and guide them on effective ways of dealing with sexual pressure.
#4: Make your home an open and safe environment to discuss sex with your kids. You might not be comfortable with it, but it’s better they learn from you, than from the society. Whether you like it or not, kids must be exposed to sex (either through movies, pictures, or pornography), and will talk about it with their friends or whoever is patient to give them attention.
It’s okay to talk about sex. Keep your religious mindset down; it is better they learn the right things from you than learning the wrong things from their friends, TV, or somewhere else.
#5: Expose yourself to sex education. You can only give what you have, or rather, you can only parent a child to the level of information that you possess. Invest in parenting education, sex education, effective communication skills, and so on. For a child, sex is a big deal. Don’t be quick to forget when you were growing up; you remember the sex urge and pressures, right?
Invest your time, effort, and resources to raise sexually-educated children.
To your success,
Adeh Jones,
Parenting/Teen coach,
BB pin:7B93D444,
@therapistJONES
